i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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