I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
