Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize