He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
