Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
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She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
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Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag