haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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