Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
