Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I FOUND THE LEGS
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