For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
soo... how was my night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
