Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
