meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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