I accidentally burped into my bong.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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