I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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