Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
