no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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