I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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