It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize