he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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