It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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