I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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