Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
