Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
honey bunches of taint.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize