I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
