I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Randomize
