Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
