It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize