That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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