god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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