Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You were trust falling into bushes
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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