i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
