I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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