Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.

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(631): View more from New York

Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.

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(216): View more from Ohio

The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.

(216): View more from Ohio

this is the second day in a row.

(330): View more from Ohio

Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.

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(561): View more from Florida

I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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(316): View more from Kansas

I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver

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(770): View more from Georgia

You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.

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