we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
