I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
