If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
