capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
