It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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