maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hippo gnu deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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