Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You left your phone here
Wait...
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