i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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