i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize