He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
