she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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