I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Farmville is her only friend.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
