he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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