He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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