Quick, to the slutcave!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
