Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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