what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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