We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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