A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
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You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
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I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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