Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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