there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
