Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
